He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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