I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
