just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
