And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
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