you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
