I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize