all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
