Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
