Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
