a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
