YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Terrible idea I love it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
