If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize