i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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