Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
