Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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