Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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