Just fell off a train. Bad.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
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