Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
