You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
