i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
