fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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