im having a threesome with these popsicles
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
