hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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