I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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