yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
