Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
