you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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