whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up under a house in Key West
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize