The brown eye won't let me do that either.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
