He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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