as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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