We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
