If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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