dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just blew my weed a kiss
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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