went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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