Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
