Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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