shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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