problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
