Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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