their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
