Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
