Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
