I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
