Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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