Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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