If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
