I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize