What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
