think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Less talking, more tequila
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He better not be in your backpack
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
