It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
