Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
