after a month anything with tits is on the radar
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
