so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
