YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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