I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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