More tranny stories later!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
that is very illegal...i love you.
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