i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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