chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
