I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
