Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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